Although it may be easy to show compassion for a friend or a loved one, showing compassion for ourselves isn’t always as easy. While some might think it narcissistic to treat ourselves with love and care, it is vital to our wellbeing both in and out of the workplace.
If you are not in a good place yourself, you are likely in no position to take on a leadership role, produce your best work, and be an asset to senior leaders and your coworkers.
Self-compassion does not come together overnight, but it’s never too late to start. This post will kickstart your journey to self-compassion and provide you with solid examples of how you can incorporate it into your personal and professional life.
Self-Compassion: A New Learning Philosophy
What is Self-Compassion? Self-compassion is defined by Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneering self-compassion researcher, as being “kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings…” (Neff, n.d.). In other words, you treat yourself in the same way you would treat a loved one during a difficult time.
When one practices self-compassion, they can acknowledge the suffering within themselves, and offer kindness and understanding as opposed to judgment or shame.
Why Does Self-Compassion Matter? Research has consistently shown a positive correlation between self-compassion and mental health. When we forgive ourselves and accept our faults, we are more likely to experience less anxiety, depression, and shame, which opens us up to be more productive and engaged employees.
With self-compassion on our side, we are also more likely to take risks, as we don’t fear failure as much. For example, a senior leader who moves past their mistakes
Ravi Shah, an assistant professor of psychiatry at Columbia University Medical Center, believes self-compassion is crucial for building healthy self-esteem and the ability to bounce back from our mistakes, stating that this is a kind of “healthy narcissism,” crucial for building a full life and overcoming workforce development challenges.
Tips For Self-Compassion: Employee Productivity Begins Within
Treat yourself as you would a small child: Getting in touch with your inner child might be the key to being a better senior leader or employee. If you are confronted with self-doubt or deep-rooted feelings of failure, psychologists suggest taking into consideration what a child might need in a difficult scenario.
For example, when a child gets a scrape on their knee, they long for hugs, affection, and support, and as an adult, you are ready to give it to them. Now, imagine yourself as that child next time you are feeling overwhelmed. Take time to listen to your emotions, tell yourself it will be ok and treat yourself with comfort and care.
You can also try and treat yourself as you would a good friend. For example, if your friend felt they bombed their last presentation, how would you respond? Surely you would assure them that it’s not the end of the world and that they can learn from every experience. You deserve this same kind of response.
Practice mindfulness: It’s not uncommon to find yourself deep in a rut of self-criticism. Maybe you find yourself repeating things to yourself like “You messed up this time.” or “You aren’t smart enough for this.” When we let our internal-critic rule our thoughts, we find it hard to practice employee engagement and produce our best work in the office.
Practicing mindfulness, however, might help. Mindfulness requires us to be aware of our emotions, but not to judge them. Next time you feel the negative thinking creep in, take a deep breath and write your difficult thoughts instead of letting them stew in your head. Seeing them written on paper will help you gain a new perspective on your feelings
Even Key Stakeholders Have Off Days
Remember You Aren’t Alone: If you are having strong feelings, it means you are taking part in the human experience. While it might be easy to forget, what you’re going through has been experienced by millions of people both in the past and in the present.
Once you begin to recognize that you aren’t alone, you’ll be able to focus less on your imperfections and embrace a more positive learning philosophy. If you are having trouble with self-compassion, begin by reaching out to your coworkers. By sharing your emotions with others, you’ll probably find that they are feeling the same way you are.
Permission to be Imperfect: Maybe you are feeling unproductive at the office, are having trouble focusing, or are just feeling lazy. Part of self-compassion is recognizing these imperfect moments without defining our entire selves by them.
Psychotherapist Kristen Martinez suggests giving yourself a “permission slip” during times like these. This means that you permit yourself to make mistakes, as a means of accepting your current state, keeping perspective, and not giving up on your potential.
The Self-Compassion Learning Experience: It’s All You
An employee with self-compassion will feel more confident in their skin and understand that their worth does not change based on some mistakes they make. Does this sound like you? If not, don’t worry. Here at WeLearn’s Learning Development blog, we believe in you and your potential to succeed.
What are some examples of self-compassion you’ve tried in your daily life? What are some of your biggest challenges when forgiving yourself and accepting your faults? Share your thoughts and stories with us, and let’s work together to make the workplace happier!
